I Will Always Know
by Lady Duck
Summary: Quinn realizes what she needs to do to get Rachel back. It's time to put her fears aside and embrace the one person she truly loves! The final part of the "I Know" series with Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry.


**Okay, so it's the final part! I wrote this with someone very special in mind, and wish that I had the courage to say everything I wanted to the person I love very much. But, anyways, Quinn might seem a little out of character, but hopefully it's not too big of a deal! Read and review please, and thank you for reading this series :)**

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_Because Rachel had been right. She should learn to never underestimate how perceptive the girl is. She __was__ scared of her already-tarnished reputation coming under more harm because she was dating another girl, and Rachel Berry of all girls. She didn't want to have to be seen with her because that would mean that Rachel would try to be affectionate with her. Quinn hadn't wanted to imagine herself holding hands with her in the hallway, or whispering "I love you" into her ear every few minutes just to see her smile. She couldn't bear the idea of humiliation. Why couldn't she just have accepted it? If she loved Rachel, and she did, then why did she have so many problems showing it?_

_When Quinn picked herself up off the ground, she knew she'd just made a big mistake._

"Come on, Rachel. Goddamnit, pick up, pick up!"

For the tenth time, Rachel's cell phone went to voicemail, with an overly cheery message telling callers to try again later. Quinn felt tears of frustration prick her eyes and she threw her cell phone at the wall. She was surprised to find that a dent had actually formed; she hadn't figured she could be that strong for a pregnant teenager.

Quinn fell back onto her bed in Finn's guest room, flopping for a few seconds before sinking into the comforter that smelled like it had been in storage for years. Which it had been, before she had imposed upon the Hudson household and forced them to make use of the putrid, pitiful excuse of a bed comforter. Quinn was in no position to complain when she had a roof over her head and food to eat, something her parents refused to do.

The comforter hadn't seemed all that horrible when Quinn was aware of the warm, sensitive body lying next to her in it. After every long, passionate episode of lovemaking, Quinn could bear the faint smell of mothballs when it was Rachel's floral scent that ultimately overpowered it. She never told Rachel, and she wished to God that she had, but the petite brunette girl made it worth it to have been kicked out of her parents' home. Quinn knew that there was so much more that needed to be said, that being only one thing of many. But Rachel wasn't giving her the chance.

She'd told her to sort out her feelings first, that she loved Quinn more than Quinn loved her. As Quinn pondered that in her room, she felt a sickening realization that in the long run, she did love Rachel. She loved her more than she could have possibly imagined. She wanted her and needed her next to her, like she needed oxygen to breathe. How could she have not seen this? How could she have let her petty fears get in the way of the person she truly loved and cared for? Was reputation really the only thing that had stopped her from pulling her into a searing kiss every time she saw her in the hallways at school?

Yes. It had been.

Once Quinn had thought this to herself, over and over again, she couldn't help the grin that spread across her face. She knew what she needed to do now.

She quickly changed from the oversized t-shirt Finn had lent her to a lavender dress, touched up her makeup, and marched downstairs. She found who she was looking for in the family room, eyes glued to the television at some stupid basketball game.

Quinn rolled her eyes and stole the remote control from Finn's limp grasp, turning the game off. Finn snapped out of his zombie-like stare and looked up at her in confusion. An expression he wore all too often.

"Oh, hey Quinn. What's up?" he asked slowly.

"I need you to drive me somewhere, and now. Please," Quinn said with a hint of desperation and anxiety. Finn, not too surprisingly, didn't pick up on the insistence in her voice and just stared at her stupidly.

"Uh. Okay. Where?" he finally responded.

Quinn was already making her way to where the Hudsons stored their car keys. "To Rachel Berry's."

Rachel had never felt so miserable in her life. Her phone rang every five minutes with Quinn's name flashing on the caller ID, prompting her to shove her phone under her pillow until the blaring ringtone had been silenced. Every time she called, it was harder to not pick up. Rachel wanted to pick up and listen to Quinn's apologies and promises. But then where would she be? What would the whole point of her ultimatum have been? She'd only see herself as weak and vulnerable, something that she learned never to show to others. Because they would hurt her for it. They always had.

Her love for Quinn was making Rachel question her pride and dignity, and whether it was worth putting herself and the girl she loved through so much agony. She knew it wasn't. She could've just picked up the phone and answered it, hearing Quinn's apologies and responding with her own and promising to love her and never let her go. It would've been so easy. Then it all could've stopped.

Something inside of her was steadfast on the idea that she was right to act on her feelings. If she'd felt that she was trapped in a role she was forced to play because her girlfriend had been too embarrassed to be seen with her in public, then why wouldn't she have acted for her own sake and happiness? Rachel knew she was self-centered and a little egotistical. But there were some matters that required that kind of attention. Rachel, if anything, couldn't regret wanting to love someone freely, even if only to have that request put aside. It was never something to regret when love was concerned.

The calls took a hiatus on Saturday afternoon, three days after Rachel had told Quinn that she couldn't be with her anymore. Rachel sighed in relief when ten minutes had passed with no shrill ringing, and took it upon herself to finally get out of bed and greet the day, or what was left of it. She laid out a simple green v-neck shirt and pair of white shorts on her bed before sitting down at her vanity to fix her hair. When Rachel looked at the person staring back at her in the mirror, she couldn't stifle the gasp.

She looked terrible. Dark purple rings encased brown eyes that seemed to have been cried out too many times. There were telltale markings of tear tracks that had run down her face days earlier, and ones that were fresh from this morning. Her normally impeccably glossy brown hair was matted to her head and sticking out in multiple directions. Rachel's hand trembled as she tried to brush through it, but grew steadier with each stroke. Once she'd finished and gotten dressed, Rachel could feel a small lift to her mood. Not a big one, but a significantly better one.

Then she heard the doorbell ring.

Quinn paced on the front porch nervously, wringing her pale, slender hands. Finn had left with an assurance that Rachel would drive her back (something she was definitely unsure about, but it got him to go away). It was a few minutes before the front door opened, enough time for Quinn to almost convince herself that to keep calling Rachel incessantly would be the better option. She steeled herself when she saw Rachel's pale, drawn face poke out from behind the door.

"Quinn," she breathed, like she'd been steeling herself for the encounter too.

"Rachel," Quinn said softly.

Rachel stepped aside and opened the door wider. "Come in."

Quinn nodded thankfully and walked inside the Berry household, a place she'd come to know quite well. A place that she'd come to miss over the last few months.

Rachel led Quinn to her room and quietly closed the door behind them. Quinn perched silently on Rachel's frilly comforter, staring at the girl in front of her. Rachel stood near the door, arms crossed, staring back. Neither girl seemed to want to initiate the conversation they both knew was coming. But after some minutes Quinn gathered enough nerves to open her lips.

"Rachel, there's some things I need to say."

Rachel didn't snap back with some snarky comment like Quinn had expected. Instead she nodded and said, "Okay. Go ahead."

Quinn couldn't think of where to begin. Staring into those dull brown eyes of the girl she loved made her want to run to the girl and pull her into a tight embrace that couldn't be broken. But she didn't want to scare her. So she settled for taking a deep breath and looking past Rachel's shouler.

"Rachel, I…I am so, so sorry. For everything. I should've realized my insecurities and talked to you about them before…everything. I shouldn't be embarrassed to be with you when I love you and care about you," Quinn said.

Rachel's knees buckled underneath her when she heard the three words she'd been dying to hear most from the blonde girl. She whispered, "You love me."

Quinn got up from the bed and went to kneel by Rachel, who looked like she was going to start sobbing any second now. Quinn didn't care if she was going to shy away from her; nothing would stop her from feeling her love in her arms now, not anything. As she pulled the heartbroken girl into her arms, she only tightened them when Rachel tried to break away.

"Quinn…"

"No Rachel. I was so wrong about so many things. You were right. I was too scared of ruining my reputation further to realize that I should treasure the privilege I have of getting to be called your girlfriend. I should be proud enough to show people that I'm worthy of your love and support, no matter if you're in glee club or the most popular person in school. I should feel so lucky to get to be the one to hold your hand when we walk down the hallways together and kiss your cheek and tell you how much I love you every single day. I shouldn't care anymore. Not about those stupid Cheerios and jocks who make it a lifelong occupation of treating others like crap. I should care about you, and show it."

Rachel tucked herself further into Quinn's body, relishing the contact that she'd wanted for so long. Everything she'd ever wanted her Quinn to say to her was just said. It made Rachel's heart sing. She didn't want to ever release her. Not that Quinn was of the mindset to do so.

"Rachel Berry," she whispered into her ear, "you are the love of my life. You are my soul and have my heart for as long as you want it. Please tell me you still want it. I'd like for you to keep it."

Quinn began to cry with relief when Rachel threw her long arms around the blonde's neck and began sobbing into her neck. The girls gripped each other fiercely, tears mingling as both girls finally let out all the hurt and pain they'd endured the last few weeks. Neither would even dream of breaking apart, or else one might slip away. They clung to each other as if their lives depended on it. Their lives didn't, but their hearts did. With each tear that fell, Quinn and Rachel felt their anger and frustration dissipate, only to be left with a weariness that left each girl wondering why they had just put themselves through this.

"Quinn," Rachel said shakily, "why did we do this to ourselves?"

The blonde teen laughed as she continued to cry, answering, "I don't know. But it definitely wasn't worth it."

"No. And I'm so sorry, Quinn. I truly am. I put you through this and didn't give you a chance to explain yourself…" Rachel hung her head sadly.

Quinn shook her head and lightly grasped Rachel's chin between her thumb and forefinger, lifting her face up so she could look into Quinn's hazel eyes and know that every word she said next was the truth.

"I want you to hear me, Rachel Berry. You were not wrong about anything. This was all my fault, and I take complete responsibility for it. And as of now, you won't blame yourself for this and smile and be happy because we love each other." The last sentence came out as a teasing threat, at which Rachel grinned and playfully slapped her girlfriend's shoulder.

"Yes, we love each other. And that's all that matters," Rachel declared with no small amount of triumph.

Quinn could only laugh and look at her little brunette love with adoration. "You are silly, Rachel."

"I know. But you still love me!"

"Yes, I do. And always will."

"As I will also. I will always love you Quinn Fabray, my sunshine."

Quinn smiled down at the girl in her arms and chuckled when Rachel couldn't suppress a yawn that surprised her. "Feeling tired, love?"

"A little. Want to take a nap with me?" Rachel asked with slight hesitation. "Please?"

Quinn grinned as she pulled her girlfriend off the floor and led her to the bed. "There's nothing I'd love more right now."

Both girls climbed into the large king-sized bed and settled into the soft pink comforter, but then drew close to each other. Quinn wrapped her arms around Rachel, and the brunette did the same. Rachel nestled into the crook of Quinn's neck and sighed, her breath tickling the sensitive skin.

"Rachel! Don't, that tickles," Quinn giggled.

"I'm sorry," Rachel said sweetly.

Quinn was about to answer smartly when she looked down to see Rachel's face turned up towards hers, brown eyes shining and a soft smile on her pale pink lips. Quinn sighed contentedly before saying, "On second thought, you're welcome to do that anytime." Then she leaned down to press her lips to Rachel's.

The kiss was soft and tender, expressing every feeling and emotion the girls withheld. There was no need for passion or lust; just the strongest desire to lay in the comfort and security of each other's arms and just feel. Rachel was content to know that Quinn was there, next to her, while Quinn was elated to be holding Rachel in her arms and to feel the warmth of Rachel's body pressed against hers. Once the kiss ended, Rachel looked into Quinn's hazel eyes languidly before murmuring, "I love you."

"I love you too, my little songbird," Quinn replied, closing her eyes.

She didn't get to see the glowing smile on Rachel's face before both girls fell asleep.


End file.
